Surrender: Is It About Giving In…or About Gaining Control?

It was a question I asked people in my social surroundings, just to learn how they understood this term.

I was surprised at most of the answers:

“I do not want to give up; I am a fighter.”

“Surrender is a method of giving up.”

“I do not know how or why I need to surrender.”

My first impression was that some people don’t understand the real meaning of surrender. I don’t blame them. Just look at Merriam-Webster’sdefinition of surrender: “to agree to stop fighting, hiding, resisting, etc., because you know that you will not win or succeed to someone else.”

I don’t know why this term has a mostly negative meaning.

If you accept the definition of surrender asacceptance of what is, you will save your energy, and most importantly, you will save your health.

In this article, I hope to help you see the positive meaning in surrender by providing you with reasons why it is a good way to deal with reality and thereby reduce your stress, anxiety, anger, or unhappiness.

Spiritual people believe that surrender is not about defeat, giving up, or not believing in themselves, but that it is about trust in themselves and in the power of belief…in faith and joy. It’s not about ending the fight but about beginning a new approach to life. When you surrender, you don’t need to predict, prevent, or plan what is going to happen next, and most important—you do not need to control everything, which is a big problem for people with general anxiety disorder.

I hope that the surrendermethod of coping is a big help for people who are suffering unnecessarily and who are putting their energy into controlling and predicting. The irony is that when you’re controlling, you’re losing your energy; when you’re surrendering, you’re saving your mental, emotional, and physical energy.

The surrender method is the skill of knowing how to live in the present moment and to be in sync with the natural flow of things.

I understand: For some, it’s hard to make the shift from control to surrender. When you are in “control mode,” you believe that you have the power to protect yourself from disaster. Wrong! Stop thinking that something terrible will happen if you stop controlling your surroundings. No…the world will not stop revolving, and you will be perfectly okay.

If you still feel that surrender is equivalent to doing nothing, think again. Surrender will bust your action and energy, not just diminish it.

Think about your fears or uncertainties. Are they real?

They are creations of your own minds, the result of your perceptions and thoughts, and they could be distorted (altered or misrepresented). Are you ready to make your life unbearable with false and altered perceptions of reality? I don’t think so. If you want to enjoy an inner calmness, get rid of your negative emotions and perceptions.

Unfortunately, there is no magic pill for adopting surrender behaviour; it’s a skill that must be learned. What works for me might not work for you.

Try to live in the present moment, accept your feelings, and let them go. Trust yourself and feel the Higher Power within you. Find your guidance to the path of surrender. If you need help, talk to your good friend, therapist, or religious adviser. You’ll soon find that surrender isn’t about giving in but about gaining control…and achieving happiness.

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